Never Known Questions

I was in Pizza Hut yesterday, enjoying their lunch buffet, when I noted the placemat they had at the table.

It had several bits of trivia about Pizza Hut, such as the fact that their yearly use of pepperoni would create a mass that would stretch around the world twice, and go to the Moon.

(This sounds like a "go take a hike" type of thing to say: "Hey, why don't you stretch around the world twice, and go to the Moon, ya jerk!")

Anyway, while the facts were interesting (kind of), the phrase that struck me was the introduction to this collection.

"Think you know all there is to know about Pizza Hut?" it asked.

I...I didn't know how to respond to that. I have never in my life thought I knew everything about Pizza Hut; in fact, it wouldn't have occurred to me to make that a speciality of mine.

"Well, yeah, you may know everything about Spider-Man, but I know everything there is to know about Pizza Hut!"

Somehow, as a taunt, it just misses the mark. Though it just might startle your opponent into submission.