There's Another Eye Watching Me

Have you seen those refrigerators that have television screens in the door? I've seen them at Best Buy and so on, and while the initial striking thought is, How cool, the second thought is always, Who the hell would want one of those? Who thought this up, and then thought it was a good idea, and convinced other people to sell it?

Now, having a television set above the stove makes a certain amount of sense. When one is cooking, one spends most of the time in one position (facing the stove) while stirring, frying, or stir-frying. One could watch television while doing this. One could even watch a cooking video while doing this; now there's a good idea. But how much time does one spend looking at the refrigerator?

Well, I can only speak for myself, and my answer is, Not much. I probably don't even look at it per se, but only subsciously assure myself that Yes, the refrigerator is still there, where it was yesterday.

Otherwise, it's grab the handle, grab what you want, possibly spend a couple of moments hunting for what you want, then close the door, and the refrigerator returns to being a faithful friend awaiting your next need.

I probably spend more time looking inside the refrigerator, trying to find where I'd hidden the green onions or wondering what the heck that is inside that bowl. So, a television set inside the refrigerator would get more watching time. But haven't we all been conditioned NOT to leave the refrigerator open? It wastes electricity, and spoilage is just standing there waiting to instantly turn a nice cut of meat into a deadly bacteria factory. It takes mere seconds, man, close the door!

Plus, you'd get a crick in the neck, I'm sure.

Now, maybe you're thinking this: If some freeloader comes over and wants to drink all my beers, I can put a fantastical video on the refrigerator TV, and he'll be distracted by the video from the beer.

Eh...I suppose that might work. If you're lucky enough to be visited by extraordinarily stupid freeloaders. Another scenario: you've only got enough money for a TV or a refrigerator, but not both. Or, you have a small apartment, and combining some appliances is a space-saver for you. All of these are legitimate although kind of stupid reasons.

No, I think the real reason someone would buy a refrigerator with a television screen on it is because that initial How cool thought just takes hold and will not let go. That person is buying this thing not because it's useful or attractive, but simply because it says How cool to everyone. Imagine you're at a party at some guy's house and he asks you if you want something; you reply in the affirmative, he strides to his TV Refrigerator and gets the item. You, watching, think How cool.

I'm sure after reading the above, the many impracticalities of the device occur to you as your host hands you whatever it was he offered you. But you keep silent. Because he gives a good party. And you want to be invited to the next one. Don't you?

There must be hundreds if not thousands of things available for sale whose sole defining viture is that they say, How cool. People buy them, because they want that coolness transferred to them. Wow, I thought he was kind of dull, but after seeing his refrigerator, I realize now that he is kind of cool. But this refrigerator-television combo has got to be the most obviously useless. I suppose it's not actually harmful, like smoking cigarettes, which is about the only thing in its favor.

Also, if you have a lot of refrigerator magnets, wouldn't they interfere with the signal?

That's the Point of the Thing--Not to Know

RVH, below, fails to point out that one of the reasons people are feeling churlish about the missing Bloody Head Fairy is that the box set is clearly labeled "UNCUT."

As for me, I've waited years for this stuff; it's all good.

Churling and Churling in the Widening Gyre

When someone gives you four hundred and ninety dollars, it seems churlish (to say the least) to dwell on the ten dollars it would have taken to make the gift an even five hundred. One should be properly grateful and show due consideration of the giver's generosity. One should.

A case in point: the magnificent Ren and Stimpy collection recently released by Paramount. It's a trove of imagination, humor, vulgarity, excellent design, smooth animation, magic nose goblins, and nostalgia. Several of the episodes appear uncensored for the first time, a number also have audio commentary, there are galleries, pencil tests, etc. A fan could scarcely ask for anything more.

So why do I feel a proper churl, then? Why am I looking at that missing ten dollars? Perhaps you'll understand if I say three simple words: Bloody Head Fairy.

If you know what that phrase denotes, I have to inform you that his entire appearance has been cut from "Haunted House."

Apparently John Krisfaluci hated his appearance so much that, for this set, he exercised his creative prerogative and excised him from existence.

The reasons for this are too long to go into here; a reasonable Google search will turn up the details. It's a sad story of the clash of commerce and creativity, and it apparently scathed John K pretty badly. One can see why he would want it removed.

However, as one commentator noted, removing the Bloody Head Fairy removed the only really memorable aspect of "Haunted House;" without it, it's a fairly mediocre entry.

As the same commentator (on tvtome.com, I believe) went on to note, much as I have here, it seems ill-mannered to pass over the wonders the set contains only to concentrate on the demerits. Everyone seems to think the best way to approach this, is to be grateful for what we have, and not dwell on what we lack.

After all, some of the extras included make it very unlikely there will be a volume two that would include any of these fan favorites.

And I'm trying to be positive. Nonetheless, color me a churl.

Graphic: You Are Here

Not sure why I have been invited to contribute to this. Most probably, BC will regret this, as we tend to annihilate each other when in too close proximity. Interesting.

Other Things Not Listed Below

Since I already have a blog filled with trivia, I decided to create another. The other one will, for the most part, be a repository of painting progress and some longer essays, as well as whatever I want to put in it.

This one will probably be more of a catch-all of miscellanious things. But then again, no.